I tried to reason with her at the airport about accepting help from you, but she kept insisting she would not talk to you or even acknowledge your presence if you came to the airport. She then asked me for money. I said to her: "You've still got $10." She said: I haven't got it any more." I said: "What happened to it?" She said: "I don't know." So I told her: "Tessa, if I thought that giving you money would help you, I'd give you even $100 or $200 and I wouldn't care whether I got it back or not. But I don't think that's the right thing to do." She seemed annoyed and felt trapped, but I held my ground. It was the most difficult thing for me to do, but I knew, and Abdullah agreed, that we should be firm on that, so she would be obliged to speak to you. I thought you might persuade her to go home with you, and from there call the mental health team and start her on some treatment.
Well, that was a rundown on her last few days here. I recounted everything in detail so you may
fully understand why we acted as we did. I did not book her in a rush or refuse to give her money because she was a burden or I wanted to get rid of her. But since the day she reached Melbourne, I realized that things were worse than I had imagined.
I spoke to the Schizophrenia Fellowship, the Mental Health Clinic in my area, and the nearest public hospital with a psychiatric unit, but only came to the conclusion that there was nothing on offer here superior to what's available in New Zealand. Moreover, you would have to pay for all the expenses; and supposing that these obstacles were not there, I myself would leave in a few
weeks; and what would be the point of starting her on a treatment which she could not complete? So we made these decisions with Tessa's wellbeing as the main factor. We both regret that we could not do anything positive for her, and hope and pray that you forgive us and that Allah for-
gives us for our shortcomings and mistakes.
I hope you will be able to persuade her to get some treatment. Judging by my own experience, however, I tend to think that she will not agree unless she is cornered, has no financial resources, and is virtually "blackmailed" into accepting treatment and medication. I know it sounds harsh, but
I don't think anything else will work. As long as Tessa has money, she thinks she is independent and "in control". When she is stuck and desperate, you can persuade her that she has momenta-
rily lost control and she has to accept help or she will then totally lose her independence. I rea-
soned with her along these lines, but to no avail. I hope and pray that you will succeed where we failed. I grew quite fond of Tessa, and constantly think about her and pray for her. Do let me know how she is keeping. We will be traveling to New Zealand, Insha Allah, on November 28... I look forward to seeing you soon.
Kindest regards, F.
Return to index of articles
